A few days ago I received a call from a school friend who sounded worried about her 13- year-old son. She had caught him reading a sex magazine with obscene pictures. Sounding totally flabbergasted, she asked me how to react to this whole situation.
I advised her to sit and talk with him, find out from where he had got the magazine, and who was feeding him this information. I told her to show her disappointment, but not to scold or beat him. “Win his confidence and trust; tell him that it’s ok to discuss this topic with you,” I advised. “Then educate him about the simple biological facts of the human body without making a fuss about it. Also tell him that it is just a biological process that helps in taking our species ahead.”
After hearing me out she immediately retaliated with, “How can I talk to him about this?” My response was, “If not you then who will talk to him? The curiosity generated in his mind will compel him to get the information from other sources, which he is already doing.” After a lot of persuasion and trying to make her understand the need for the talk, she finally agreed to do it.
This incident set me thinking – if in spite of being educated and pretty evolved she was shying away from this responsibility, what was the case with people who were not so well educated? We teach our children good manners and behaviour, and instil good values and belief systems – why then do we shy away from educating them on such an important topic?
Menstruation and sex – natural processes that are responsible for the survival of the human species – are the most unspoken and taboo subjects in Indian society. It is truly surprising that India, the country which was once known not only for its rich culture and history but also for its scriptures on sex, is seeing shying away from talking about it. When the West was still orthodox, India was a country where free will prevailed. But today, it has turned into hypocritical country, where talking about the basic human biology is a big taboo. Parents feel embarrassed to educate their children about sex and menstruation.
This has led to teenagers trying to get knowledge from other sources. The topic has become a laughing matter for teenage boys and one that causes embarrassment for teenage girls. What could be the reason for this drastic change in the mindset of previously liberal people?
The answer lies in the history of our country. For more than a thousand years, India saw many invasions and foreign rulers, from Ghazni to the Moghuls and the British. When you are ruled by someone they not only capture your land but control your minds too, and this is where the whole cultural shift happened. The labelling of certain acts as sacred and certain as filthy or sinful happened.
This led to fear or embarrassment when it came to discussing the basic biology. Natural processes of the body like menstruation and sex got labelled as filthy and sinful. Since information about these topics was not presented and available in a proper form, dubious and unauthenticated sources sprouted to cater to the curiosity of people.
Over time, important and crucial information regarding the biological changes in our body became taboo. However, in the last few years, schools and parents have understood the importance of creating awareness amongst teenagers. And yet, there are many educated parents who shy away from educating their children about sex and menstruation.
Perhaps the parents themselves are confused about exactly what and how to talk to their children about these topics – maybe because their parents never spoke to them about such matters. So the basic need is to educate the parents on how and what to talk. The choice of right words, the tone of the voice, and the body language are very important when they speak to their children about sex and menstruation.
We must take the responsibility of changing the prevailing thought process regarding this topic. Parents need to educate and explain to their teenagers about this simple biological process. They must make them understand that menstruation and sex are normal biological activities just like any other biological activity in a human body. Boys in particular must also be educated about the menstruation process in women. They must be made to understand that it is part of the metamorphosis phase of the female body.
It is also important for parents to set the right belief system regarding the processes. Boys should be taught to respect girls and not bully or make fun of them when they are undergoing menstruation. This is the responsibility of the parents as well as the schools. If a proper education regarding these topics is imparted and beliefs are set right, unnecessary curiosity and myths will be eliminated. This will help create a healthy environment for society.